“Nobody Likes a Fat Huntress”, and Other Costume Conundrums. (Caitlin)

Here’s the thing. I’m a superhero fangirl. I spend hours upon hours of my life reading comic books (Batman is my drug of choice, right after a good red wine), playing video/computer games that feature superheroes, and beating my computer with a stick until it yields the newest Captain America trailer. There’s just something about the idea of a superhero that is so… well, damn heroic.

He really does love fish. Look, he's going to find some now.

There’s that sense of order in the chaos to which real life never quite measures up: Superman is a boy scout, Aquaman loves the shit out of fish, and Batman is THE GODDAMNED BATMAN. The Joker is forever evil and will cause nothing but suffering to those around him, but Batman will always hold back that final, neck-snapping punch (I may have gotten teary at the end of Batman: Under the Red Hood, guys… don’t judge me). It’s not reality, but I’ll be damned if shit doesn’t get real.

Helena Bertinelli, the Huntress, Queen of Badassery

This year, for SDCC, I would love nothing more than to throw on some purple spandex and be the most bitchin’ Huntress this ‘verse has ever known. Kickin’ ass and takin’ names FOR JUSTICE… or, at least for play.

Well, no. Not so much. And the title post says it all: nobody likes a fat Huntress. I, being both a grad student and lover of fine pizzas (I assure you that these are, in fact, mutually exclusive–Denver is a mecca of beautiful bodies, and  many of those bodies belong to grad students… other grad students) find myself at a disadvantage for looking even remotely hot in spandex. It’ll probably take me a solid year of gym time to look respectable in a costume with what is lovingly referred to as a “belly window”, so in the meantime I’ve started working on my options for this year’s costumes.

First up: (Lady) Dr. Henry Killinger, Venture Brothers

Ah, Killinger. The silly bastard with the accent and the Mary Poppins-style murder bag. The advantage to Killinger is that he already looks kind of dumpy, what with being an old guy and all. In lieu of finding a real (read: expensive and not quite what I wanted, anyway) Howie coat/dental coat, I purchased a black chef coat on Amazon.com (there are some in women’s cuts, which was neat, so I bought a size down from what I normally get as chef’s coats run gigantic). Some iron-on decal paper from Michael’s will help to get the Killinger logo in place. I found an amazing base for the mask at a costume shop in Lakewood called Disguises, and will be building up on it with clay and paint, possibly with a layer of mod podge on top for shine.

Since I’m doing a Lady Killinger, I decided to take a few liberties with my interpretation. Instead of plain black leather gloves, I bought super cute black lace gauntlets. I plan to wear a skirt with the outfit, which I’ll make myself–my current plan is to make a blood-red skirt (to match the logo on the coat) and build a black lace overlay to give it volume and keep the balance in the outfit.

What I still need to buy: a stethoscope, black fuzzy slippers, and an old black bowling bag that I won’t feel terrible painting. I already have the Adult Swim officially licensed magic murder bag, but it’s really more of a magic murder duffle and would look silly being carried around SDCC.

Mallory Archer, Archer

This costume will be my contribution to our big group costume, the cast of Archer. I’m having a crazy difficult time finding a suit that looks like Mrs. Archer’s, but I’m hoping that thrift stores and Goodwill can provide in the next few weeks; otherwise, I’m making the damn thing from scratch. I did, however, find a damn good broach at NY & Company that looks like a real-life version of the one she wears in the cartoon, so go team! I plan to use spray-on hair dye for the gray/silver hair (I’m a brunette, and whilst still in my 20s I plan to stay that way). I’ll find a nice sensible pair of pumps to match the suit and hopefully call it a day.

(Lady) Castiel, Supernatural

Watching football and costume-building are similar in that I drink during both activities.

Castiel is the socially awkward angel friend of Sam and Dean on Supernatural, and yes. I know. Two guy costumes. I’ma make ’em sexy. We’ve been over this. Cas is all about his big khaki trench coat, blue tie, white shirt, and dark pants. Oh, and black angel wings. This is where the costume gets tricky. How the hell do you A) transport angel wings through airport security and B) not destroy a perfectly good trench coat and still make it look like the wings are coming out the back of it? This costume is a work in progress, for sure.

So, there. That’s what I have so far, guys. In the weeks to come, I’ll hopefully be posting pictures with the spoils of retail war.