Tag Archives: Wonder Woman

TANGENT TIME! My Wonder Woman Conundrum (Melinda)

TANGENT TIME!

… as the title so states.

 

I am about to do something very dangerous on the internet.

I am going to express an opinion.

You have been warned.

 

So I’ve been trying to figure out more cosplay stuff and when in doing so, I have come across a conundrum that I wanted to share with the group. So here is a little insight into the mind and workings of Miss Melinda….

which will be swiftly followed by an explanation.

I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. Always have been. Which, for the record, is STUPID difficult considering the amount of crap that Wonder Woman fans have had to endure, from bad story telling, to MORE bad story telling, to invisible planes, the entire Golden Age, plot holes, origin changes and overall, a very VERY stupid costume.

For more information on why most people hate Wonder Woman, please refer to this…

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/08/10_reasons_no_one_cares_about_wonder_woman.php?page=1

So think of how happy I must have been in recent days! Wonder Woman comics are finally selling better than they ever have before! The “Blackest Night” 3 issue arc turning Diana into a Violet Lantern was the beginning of the awesome. This was quickly followed by the Issue #600 where we have seen the resurgence of a fabulously well written Wonder Woman story line as well as a very interesting new costume.

And herein lies my conundrum dear readers.

I absolutely positively adore the new Wonder Woman Costume.

I think its brilliant. I want to cosplay as her  for Comic-Con. But I can’t because most people absolutely abhor it.

So I want to take a moment and talk about the new Wondy duds in hopes of possibly changing a few minds and making this a more acceptable cos option, if not for me for this summer, then for Wonder Woman fans of the future.

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As we can see via this lovely, well, what I am going to call diagram, the Wonder Woman costume has already evolved over the years. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. No matter what though they very rarely deviate from the original design that creator William Moulton Marston came up with back in the 1940s. Amazonian Princess Diana, later referred to as Diana Prince or Wonder Woman, was based on the combination of Marston’s wife Elizabeth and Olive Byrne, the woman who lived with the Marstons is a poly amorous relationships.  She was adorned with the colors of the United States of America as a symbol of her fighting for the American people against the Nazis. Now, I’m not going to encourage people to actually look up the background of William Marston but if one so chooses to, one will see what an… interesting individual he was when it came to sexual proclivities. You can also see a lot of this implied in the original design for the Wonder Woman costume.

Metal Belts and Cuffs, threaded heels, corset top and a golden lasso used to tie men up to make them tell the truth. While innocent looking enough, the original costume made Wonder Woman into an instant sex symbol through the sheer basis that it is based out of bondage.

So you would think that over the years, maybe with a character who is so intent on representing women, we night be able to give her a little more fabric to cover her ass. After all, Wonder Woman is running around doing a ton of shit for humanity. She shouldn’t be worried about having her boobs pop out or getting a bikini wax every week. But nay sir. We have in fact taken things OFF the costume over the years as a result. The iconic Wonder Woman  that we knew until recent days was in what is essentially a one piece strapless bathing suit. Don’t let this smiley photo fool you. I bet if you could hear this cartoon talk she would be very displeased at the fact that she has to fight space monsters and meta-humans in heels and an outfit commonly used for nerdy comic fetishism. Do you want to fight Doomsday in that? I don’t. And thats one of the ultimate Wonder Woman problems that has developed over the years. She is the ultimate DC Universe sex symbol, but for all the wrong reasons. This confident Princess stands up for the rights all women everywhere and is the embodiment of Love in many cases in the DC Universe, “Blackest Night” again being one of the biggest and most recent examples. She is a shining example to young girls who want to grow up to be superheros. And she has been reduced to this…

The representation of the ultimate female superhero done in body paint for Playboy. Good job America. We should be super proud of ourselves. For more examples of the objectification of Wonder Woman, go rent the new Justice League porn just released by Hustler in which my childhood hero sexually services the entire Justice League. And while you do that I’m going to go vomit from anger.

Ever see the old Lynda Carter Wonder Woman television series? That poor woman, even with the utmost respect for the character she was portraying, had to try to fight Nazis, gorillas and other such nonsense in an outfit that barely stays on her.  It’s like going to the grocery store in a prom dress. Completely impractical and most likely detrimental to the actions you are trying to accomplish.

Another thing worth mentioning in all this is that Diana, Princess of the Amazonians, has also evolved over the years into Diana Prince, Diplomat, Secret Agent and Defender of Earth. It made sense for the longest time for her to continue to don the colors and symbols of America. much like her counterpart and fellow Justice Leaguer, Superman. But with the more recent plot revelations within her current story (*SPOILERS*), the American government has attacked her home and forced her people to flee to the corners of the world in hiding. Upon killing Maxwell Lord (*CONTINUOUS SPOILERS*), Wonder Woman became a fugitive, making the government see her as a rogue super human. Her current story line actually has her running from the American government as they try to wipe out whats left of her people. Her priorities have shifted. She no longer defends the Americans. They are trying to kill her and her entire culture. So why should she be wearing their flag right now? That seems a little silly if you ask me.

Other superhero’s costumes have evolved with their stories. Green Arrow got rid of the stupid little hat and looks more like the guy from “Smallville” now. It’s more practical for his current story of hiding out in magical makeshift Sherwood in “Brightest Day”. That… did not sound as serious as I wanted it to, but if you read the series you know what I mean. Batman has gone from tights and spandex to frickin’ body armor. It makes more sense considering he’s taking on more than just painted Gotham thieves. Adam West fought villains with gas bombs and other clever gadgets. Now they all have guns. And meta human abilities. And they freaking KILL PEOPLE. The stories have just elevated over the years. These men’s costumes haven’t changed too dramatically because they had a solid base to begin with. Wonder Woman has kind of sort of always looked like a flying pinup girl. Unlike the guys, you’re going to have to change a whole heck of a lot more to make it practical.

And so here we are at the final costume in question.

If the badassery of this photo does not have you sold, maybe the fact that WONDER WOMAN FINALLY EARNED SOME FUCKING PANTS will persuade you. The metal pieces actually look like they were forged by the gods instead of by Barbie toy makers. The arm wraps have a fabulous “Spartan” element to them that keeps the femininity of the outfit. The colors and symbols are still there but they in no way represent America. Even the jacket seems in character, for in many of her issues pre “Blackest Night” she was doing things such as shopping with Black Canary, queen of the black leather jacket. She is a modern woman with modern and practical tastes. Maybe it gets freaking cold as shit when she’s flying around all over the world. I’m sure as well as pants that Wonder Woman has earned sleeves after decades of saving the world. And she doesn’t wear the jacket that often, again, because its not always practical. Also no more high heels. Because in no way did that make any fucking sense. Ever. For once, she looks like a goddamn BAMF instead of something you should see in a Teletubies bondage porno.

Overall, Wonder Woman is not a pretty pretty Princess anymore. She is a Queen among a race of women who have been blessed by the Gods. And she is PISSED. The costume is vastly different than anything else we have ever seen her wear, but every piece is justified in her character lore. The real problem is not that she has a shitty costume now, its that she had a shitty costume to begin with. I hope that a few people will read this and have a change of heart so that people like me don’t feel embarrassed to embrace this fabulous new look for a superhero who is long overdue for a little respect.

Wonder Woman has endured a lot of crap over the years. A lot of crap. And we the fans have had to endure it too. So come on.

Wonder Woman deserves pants.

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